I had two things to do this afternoon; take some of Gaby's tights back to Mothercare (because they were the expensive obaibi brand and they split the first time she wore them, not because I'm in the habit of returning tights), and take my library books back.

Now I've always thought there should be a separate check-out desk for efficient customers. I don't mean "handbaskets only" or "cash only" (because those lines are full of people who didn't notice the sign and being British, we generally tolerate this). No, I mean "If you know where your purse is, can pack your own bag, haven't forgotten anything, if you are not in possession of any coupons or vouchers and you have no intention of making idle chit-chat with the checkout operator after they have given you your receipt, then stand in this line".

I am a curmudgeon, yes. But I'm also really pushed for time.

In Mothercare, the woman in front of me wanted to open a storecard, pay with coupons and ask advice.

I just wanted to swap some tights.

In the library, the woman ahead of me wanted to know if she could find a book by the same author, if so, where, and could the librarian order it. Oh yes, and could she defer her 80 pence library fine for late return of this book.

I just wanted to hand over three books.

(On what grounds does one defer a library fine? Is this means tested? Do they eventually write the debt off?).

I can't be the only person who thinks this?